Are you controlling your life or is your life controlling you?

Has the past year (or 2) left you feeling defeated, tired, and wishing you could wake up tomorrow on a deserted island far away from your problems?  The results are in from the women I have talked with over the past few months, and most are ready to throw in the towel.  As we approach the end of the year, there is always talk of “next year will be different”, but no real action is taken to help improve your circumstances.  It’s all just a wish. Then it happens. You wake up one mid-January morning to a problem that seems too big to handle and declare that yet again, this just isn’t your year.   

There is no guarantee next year will be better.  And honestly, I can almost guarantee something is going to come up that will rock you to your core.  But here’s what I have learned.  Not making a plan or taking action, and allowing life to just happen will guarantee that you will move into the next year feeling just as out of sorts and helpless as you felt this year.  And isn’t the goal to stop feeling that way?  Here are 3 action steps to put the past year behind you and start the New Year off on the right foot.  

Set a few goals.  

Did you know setting goals can actually make you happier, provide a sense of direction, and help you determine what’s really important?  It’s true! Do you wake up feeling less than excited about the day ahead?  If you are feeling bored, there’s a good chance it is because you aren’t currently working towards anything.  It has been scientifically proven that when you have something you are working towards, big or small, the challenge of it brings you a personal sense of accomplishment.  And when you set clear goals, your true priorities are in focus and will guide you through the difficult times when you aren’t sure what the next step is you should take. Setting and reaching your personal goals helps you appreciate your capabilities, steers you in the right direction, and fuels your excitement to keep trying.   And just to clarify, I’m not necessarily talking about the goals we typically hear about like losing 20 lbs, fitting into a certain size for a special occasion, or paying off your debt.  While a few of those may also make the list, goals can and should be fun!  They could be things like saving enough money to pay cash to take a second honeymoon, learning to play the piano, or getting rid of every piece of clothing that doesn’t fit just right and replacing them with a few nice pieces that truly feel like a million bucks. (BTW..that’s one of my personal goals!)

Pay attention to your health

Want to know your life’s purpose?  It’s a simple answer really.  To enjoy it!  While we all have a different perspective on how exactly that happens, the truth is if we aren’t healthy, we can’t enjoy the life we have been given.  It’s as simple as that.  We can only pretend we are full of energy and feeling well for so long.  Sooner or later it’s going to catch up with us.  And when it does, there’s no getting around it.  It doesn’t matter if everything else in our life is going well, without our health we have nothing.  So on that note, I beg you to pay attention to it.  This is a lesson I have had to personally learn over and over, and each time it gets harder to correct.  If you get quiet and listen, your body is telling you how to treat it.  Take the time to eat well, drink water throughout the day, add more activity to your day, and go to bed on time each night so you are ready for your next adventure.  And when something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut and take action to correct it as quickly as possible.  My body has been telling me to cut out gluten and highly processed junk for a while now, and I continued to ignore it until the pain was so terrible that I couldn’t function.  And because I ignored it for so long, the healing is happening more slowly than I care to admit.  Learn from my mistakes.  Your health is your number one asset.  Please treat it as such.

Focus on the good

Do you tend to be more of a glass half full or half empty kind of a person?   We all naturally have the tendency to either be more positive or more negative. It’s just how we are wired.  And if you naturally lean more to the positive, I congratulate you.  This next idea will be easier for you to adopt.  But just because you tend to automatically sway to the darker side doesn’t mean you can’t change your habits.  It just takes a willingness to try and a little focus.   If you constantly are focused on what is going wrong, finding fault in yourself or those around you, or thinking there is no way the circumstances are going to improve, you are absolutely right.  Your brain is focused on the negative and it will continue finding more and more bad news.  The opposite is also true.  Find the goodness, be grateful for what you have, see the kindness in your neighbor, and trust you are heading in the right direction and you will find more happiness and joy.  Your thoughts are always influencing you whether you are aware of them or not. That is why it is so important to take notice. Your mindset changes everything, and when you notice yourself feeling irritable and grouchy, you need to flip the switch.  Interrupt that pattern by doing something you enjoy.  Take a bubble bath.  Light a candle. Go for a walk.  Do something that sends a signal to your mind that you are moving past the negative crap and finding joy.  The more goodness you can soak in, the more you are filled with love, the more you can provide.  

The moral of the story is take control of your life instead of letting it control you. There’s no need to run to a deserted island to hide anymore.  Chances are if you don’t change your perspective, your problems will just follow you there anyway.  Instead implement these 3 ideas and see how your perspective changes.  You will feel more ready to take on the daily challenges of life.  Watch your confidence grow, your mood improve, your energy increase, and feel overall more content with your choices.   

These can be big changes to make if you have let them go for too long.  During our midlife years, we finally have a moment to catch our breath after raising our family and realize we have spent years making sure that everyone else’s needs were taken care of and we simply forgot how to take care of our own.  If you are struggling with where to start or what comes next, I can help!  The Third Quarter Transformation focuses on your mindset, your health, and your relationships to get you grounded in what is important to YOU.  Enroll today and become the best, healthiest version of your authentic self. You deserve to live a life you are excited to wake up to, and you are worthy of taking the time to make yourself a priority.